Why do you need to renew your vows? Saying your wedding vows to the person who means most to you in this world has probably never been so relevant as now. In these post pandemic times, vow renewal ceremonies are the new weddings for a variety of reasons.

Photo Simon Duggan

Vow renewals are the new weddings!

You may have felt deprived of the wedding ceremony that you wanted and deserved due to three basic reasons: money, control and opportunity.

• Money – not being able to afford the original wedding of your dreams
• Control – someone else was pulling your original wedding planning strings
• Opportunity – circumstances such as COVID-19 meant that you were married without any ceremony

As your circumstances change and you find yourself in a position to have the wedding ceremony you always dreamed of, so you can permit yourself butterflies of excitement and really look forward to planning your dream vow renewal ceremony.

Other great reasons to renew your vows

Of course there are many other great reasons to affirm your vows to your partner in front of witnesses who love you.

• Wedding blessings – some places of religious worship do not have authority to legally marry you, but they can carry out a religious wedding blessing at a later date when you reaffirm your vows
• Arranged marriages – where your partner is chosen for you, your feelings for each other may develop and strengthen over time. A ceremony to renew your vows is often much more meaningful the second time around.
• Surviving a health scare – ill health is a wake up call to us all that our lives together are transient. With a renewed appreciation of health and life, you many also want to recommit yourselves to each other.
• Coming through a rocky patch – no relationships are perfect. If you have come though a roller coaster ride or separated for a time, a personal ceremony to reaffirm your wedding vows is a meaningful statement of your commitment to each other.
• You have changed as a couple – life experiences change us, children change us. Years down the line, we are rarely the same two people who first said, “I do” at the altar. Now is the time to say new vows.
• This is a milestone anniversary! – All life events should be celebrated, and none more so than two people still in love!

Cortijo Las Salinas, Jaen

What happens at a vow renewal ceremony?

Basically anything goes at at vow renewal ceremony. There is no right way and wrong way, only your way. Here are a few ideas you and your celebrant might consider when crafting your celebrations:

• your personal love story – told with warmth and gently humour
• people who attended your original wedding – invited to take part a second time
• readings – some text, lyrics or a poem that resonates with you both
• ring exchange – not everyone can get their ring off after years of wearing it, so a ring warming is just as meaningful and heartfelt
• unity ritual – a visual symbolic gesture such as a cord or ribbons to gently “tie the knot” once more
• personal vows – this is what it is all about. Saying renewed words of commitment to each other is the goose-bump-making centrepiece to your vow renewal ceremony.

Photo Jack Hartley

What should I wear to renew my vows?

Again there is no right or wrong outfit for a vow renewal ceremony.

• Some brides like to wear a traditional white wedding dress with grooms opting for a formal or dress suit.
• Some couples prefer wearing something smart, more along the lines of a wedding-guest outfit.
• Some couples want everyone to feel comfortable in their everyday clothes, perhaps with a little something to signify who the wedding party are – a flower pinned to your clothes, in your hair or carrying a bouquet for example.

Do what feels right for you.

More than even the original day you contracted your marriage, this is YOUR special day. Claim it. Own it. And above all enjoy it.

Photo of Debbie Skyrme, Juanma Segura

Author bio: Debbie Skyrme is Celebrant Spain helping destination wedding couples in Spain by officiating dream ceremonies in the Spanish sunshine.

Real vow renewal video photography by kind permission of: Simon Duggan; Jack Hartley

(c) Debbie Skyrme 10 March 2021
This content was authored by Debbie Skyrme and originally published on https://celebrantspain.es/blog/
Unauthorised publishing of the text or image content in part or in full is strictly forbidden.

The post Why you need to renew your vows appeared first on Celebrant Spain.

Photo Andreas Holm

Use my questionnaire as a starting point

Let’s face it, I am going to be the third person in your relationship in the months up to your ceremony and at the heart of your special day.

In order to get to know you, I will send you a questionnaire.

Some of the questions may seem a bit random, but really it is a basis for me to start getting to know you…. and may give a little kick start into reminding you what you really love about your partner and why they are special to you.

Let your marriage vows evolve organically

Top tip: don’t fill out the questionnaire together.

• Why not answer the questionnaire separately, truthfully and without influence.
• No matter how long you have known each other, I bet there is a little something that you don’t know, that is revealed by your answers!
• After all, we are always changing; relationships are always evolving.
• Be inspired by the honesty of discovery.

Then read your answers to each other.

• Start a brainstorm document and write down what you feel as your partner reads out their answers to you.
• Let your vows evolve organically.

Photo Toni Bonet

Inspirational quotes and lyrics as wedding vows

But how can you find the right words?! I know what you’re thinking:

• You don’t want to say what everyone else says
• You want to avoid platitudes and clichés
• You don’t want to sound cheesy or trite
• And you’ve got writer’s block! Aaaagh!

Here is where social media can be amazing at inspiring you.
Head off to your favourite search engine and type in the key phrase “inspirational quotes” or hashtag #inspirationalquotes

Copy and paste any wording that resonates with you into your brainstorm document….

Remember, you are still just looking for a starting point.
Your own actual wording will come later.

Then have a play with Pinterest and Instagram.
They have some great inspiring words combined with visuals. This can be really helpful if you like to work from an image.

This great song takes real footage from the weddings of band members Dan and Shay explaining the “Speechless” feeling of the first look when the groom sees the bride #inspirationallyrics

Photos as wedding vow inspiration

So you’ve now got a brainstorm document onto which you have spilled your feelings and inspirational quotes.

To pull all of this together into something really personal, it is a great help to see the person you are writing about…. So go and get some photos!

• Photos of the early days of your relationship, of when you first met.
• Photos of a memorable holiday or special occasion like your engagement.
• And that one special photo of your partner that you love; you know the one that always makes you smile when you see it.

Have you got a song that is special to the both of you? That too can evoke beautiful memories and will definitely put you in the mood for writing.

Now you are ready to “speak to your partner”.

You are ready to write your vows.

Photo Lidia Clemente

Heartfelt promises rather than perfect vows

Heads up! No one expects you to write poetry.

• You are not writing for an audience.
• You are writing words of commitment to the person you love most in this world.
• You are making them your own personal promises.
  In fact if nobody else in the world ever hears your vows except for your partner (and your celebrant!) then that is OK.

Basically it’s your day, you are speaking personally to each other…. but if you do have guests and witnesses, don’t be so cryptic that your family and friends can’t follow you!

Photo Damian Rilo

Brainstorm then edit your vows

• Start by blurting out everything, then organise it a bit so it has a beginning, a middle and an ending.
• Now boil it down! Edit, edit, edit so what you’re left with is the essential essence of what you want to say.
• That’s it! Job done!

And do you know what? Your vows will be amazing. Your wedding will be amazing. You will be amazing. The look on your partner’s face when you speak your vows will be amazing.

You’re nearly wed! Yay! Go you!!!

Photo Juanma Segura

About the author: Debbie Skyrme, “Celebrant Spain”, is an award winning bilingual Celebrant officiating weddings, elopements and vow renewal ceremonies in the Spanish sunshine

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(c) Debbie Skyrme 2021 This content was authored by Debbie Skyrme and originally published on https://celebrantspain.es/blog/
Unauthorised publishing of the text or image content in part or in full is strictly forbidden.

The post How to write your wedding vows appeared first on Celebrant Spain.

So cut down the guest list, cut the cost, cut the stress and start thinking small!

Photo Doncel y Alcoba

Traditional and modern elopements are different

Traditionally couples ran away from disapproving parents by eloping – they got married but didn’t have a wedding ceremony. There was a contractual marriage but no ceremonial celebration.
These days most couples are running away from something different – stress!

So here’s a thought,

Why not contract your marriage with a registrar and have your elopement or micro-wedding on a totally different day?!

When you understand that a marriage and a wedding are different that’s when your options open up and you can start having fun!

Let’s look at some real life elopements and micro-weddings and see how live streaming the ceremony can open up a virtual guest list.

Elopement venue options are endless

The decision about where to have your elopement is probably the hardest one you will make as with no (or hardly any) guests, so many more possibilities open up to you.

But what a fantastic problem to have!
In addition to your favourite restaurant or hotel, you can now consider

• castles and palaces
• art galleries and museums
• beaches and parks
• mountains and clifftops
• onboard boats
• destinations abroad!!!

Who should attend an elopement?

Essentially there is the couple and their celebrant to officiate the elopement ceremony and usually a photographer to capture those special moments as you say your vows to each other.

If you are contracting your actual marriage at a different time to your elopement ceremony then you don’t even need witnesses.

Photo Pedro Bellido

How to plan an elopement

My advice is to contact a wedding planner who specialises in elopements to find you the very best of everything within your budget. Remember that your budget can now go further and you can afford

• champagne instead of sparkling wine
• fine dining instead of a set menu
• the bridal suite instead of a normal room
• the best photographer
• an extravagance of flowers
• that dress you really, really want!

C and M travelled all the way from America for an elopement ceremony at a mirador overlooking the Nazrid palaces of the Alhambra in Granada, Spain

Photo Doncel Y Alcoba

Micro-weddings are a quality guest experience

Z and D opened up their February ceremony at a luxury spa resort in the Spanish mountains to six VIP guests and made it into a micro wedding.

They took advantage of out-of-season flight and hotel prices and the fact that southern Spain averages 320 days of sunshine to afford a beautiful venue otherwise out of their pocket.

Each person at that ceremony took a role in the wedding – escorting the bride, reading a few words, presenting the rings and witnessing the commemorative certificate.

In planning a micro wedding, the couple were able to spend quality time with each and every guest making it a truly personal and inclusive day.

Photo Simon Duggan

Live stream your wedding to widen your guest list

Elopements and micro weddings are trending because guests may have difficulty travelling and couples want the least possible stress for their wedding ceremony. But that doesn’t mean that your family and friends can’t be a part of your special day.

Using technology, your internet guests can be right there with you to share every precious moment of your elopement ceremony and hear every word as you say your vows to each other. Plus you get to keep the recording!

Your options include

• Web TV
• Professional videographer live streaming
• Live streaming through a Zoom bridal package
• Zoom or a similar conference call platform
• “Going live” into social media like a Facebook group or YouTube

When Americans K and K had to cancel their planned elopement on a beach in Spain, they decided instead to elope on their home porch in Kentucky with a ceremony officiated by me as their celebrant online – over 150 friends and family witnessed them saying their vows who otherwise would have missed the ceremony!

Photo Lara Onac

Photo Lara Onac

So cut down the guest list, cut the cost, cut the stress, start thinking small and plan an elopement!

Photo of Debbie Skyrme, Juanma Segura

Author Bio: Debbie Skyrme is an award winning celebrant officiating weddings, elopements and vow renewal ceremonies in the Spanish sunshine and online

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Particular thanks to elopement photographers Doncel y Alcoba and specialist elopement wedding planner Mery Liccardi 

(c) Debbie Skyrme 2021 This content was authored by Debbie Skyrme and originally published on https://celebrantspain.es/blog/
Unauthorised publishing of the text or image content in part or in full is strictly forbidden.

The post How to plan an elopement and cut stress appeared first on Celebrant Spain.